Have you ever felt like , you feel the best specially at those time when you’re alone? Or, maybe you just don’t like to be among many people. Or, even more that it makes you feel so uncomfortable and overwhelmed that you finally find peace when you’re out of all these.
Ever wondered, what’s so addictive about staying alone? Nowadays, people are more about grouping and having companionship rather than actually sitting alone and observing. The world has changed so much by time. So did the mindset of the people.
So, when you look around, it might feel like you’re the only one feeling in this way. Specially where not many people are actually encouraging the ‘alone time’ thing yet. At first, it might feel a bit abnormal too.
However, there’s absolutely no abnormality about this. There just could be only some reasons that resonates with you and makes you feel in this way. In this article, you’re going to know about 16 most possible reasons like this that will hopefully help you to get out of your extreme subconscious thoughts regarding staying alone.
You Don’t Like Chaos
From the time the town wakes up till the late night moment when it sleeps, there’s a chaos almost everywhere. In any kind of normal places, there’s always a chaos. Some people would be talking, some would be shouting, some would be gossiping, even some would be finding joy while hurting others.
There would be also some people who are constantly trying their best to deliver their own thoughts not feeling the need of listening to others. When you’re at your office, there are constantly meetings, bunch of works and emails.
These situations feel quite normal as you face them in your day to day life. However, the times when there is no chaos and you’re with yourself, those moments feel so special to some people. Even those are the people who slowly start liking it.
So, if you’re also a no chaos person who’s more about those silent times, then it might possibly be a reason that makes you like staying alone.
You Don’t Like Drama
With more people comes more drama. Doesn’t matter whatever special place you’re in, not everyone around you is going to be inspirational. Even in most average places, finding someone inspirational is literally so complicated.
With that, people are lacking more genuine conversation nowadays. Even to make it more relatable, people often choose dramas. One of the biggest examples of this is gossiping which many people yet see as a harmless, not knowing how it can actually impact that other people and also their own mentality at the same time.
Even some people who are bored gossiping, often makes stories by making something serious looking funny which is even worse.
For example, talking about having rough behaviors with teachers or older, many young adults and teenagers nowadays actually think of it as something of bravery and savagely rather than accepting as it is.
However, people who are aware of this drama already hate this. Even those people who like to say alone are also one of them.
You Feel More Comfortable With Yourself
Feeling comfortable with yourself is definitely not a new thing. When you’re with yourself, there’s no one to judge, no one to tell you that what you should do and shouldn’t. There’s no one to pick up on your mistakes.
When you’re alone, there’s no one you’ve to be worried about. Even though, most of those advices we get often are really special and not having someone around also means not having someone to support you, but after all, sometimes everything you need is just yourself.
People who are comfortable with themselves, has a self supporting system already. So, if you like to be alone and feel more comfortable with yourself, then maybe you’ve built a self-supporting system successfully too.
You Meet Your Own Emotional Needs
Emotional needs are something that one cannot live without. Meeting our own emotional needs can make us truly happy. Otherwise, it’s possible to end up being hurt, frustrated or simply dissatisfied.
For different people, these emotional needs are also different. Some of the most common emotional needs are Affection, Acceptance, Security, Validation, Appreciation, Trust and connection. Some people also find competence as one of their emotional needs.
Many people find their emotional needs to be fulfilled by other people. Making it clear, they feel much better when they’re appreciated, accepted by a group of people, accomplished or at least feels like a part of a community.
However, it’s also possible that you might feel like meeting your own emotional needs the most when you’re with yourself. You see, acceptance and affection and true love also comes from the inside. You might feel more safe when you’re with yourself. So meeting your own emotional needs might be something that’s making you staying alone more.
Your way of Thinking is Different than Others
Every of us used to have a different way of thinking. There is no definition of something that is right. Because what feels wrong to you or to most people might feel like the best to someone else. Or, maybe something that frightens you the most might be something very lovable to someone else.
Which ultimately indicates that the way of our thinking is different. According to Science Daily, “Like with fingerprints, no two people have the same brain anatomy.”
However, we’re often influenced by the ideas and thoughts of other people around us. But, as you stay alone, it gives you both the independence and environment to think of your own ideas. To analyze them and not to let them to be lost among other people’s thoughts..
You Understand the Power of Staying Alone
The power of solitude is one of those things today that not many people really talk about. From our early childhood, by everyone around us including our teachers and parents, we’re encouraged to socialize more.
Even there used to be chapters about socialization in our book. I completely agree that socialization is crucial. But, the benefits of staying alone are never that underrated. Amazing things happen when you start to enjoy being alone.
If you’ll read the history of the famous scientists, you’ll realize that most of them chose solitude. It doesn’t only help you to recharge but also can help you to bring out your truest self. So, understanding the power of staying alone can definitely be a reason.
You Work The Best When Alone
How would you feel if you’re doing a really important work and there’s someone seeing you and observing you doing all these things all the time? Some people would undoubtedly perform really well.
But, If I would be there, I would just fade. Even it’s also the same situation for many. Not being able to work the best while in public doesn’t always mean that you’re less skilled or have low self-esteem. But, it might also be a sign that you’re more of a loner.
So, being able to work the best when you’re alone might also be a reason behind you prefer solitude the most.
You Don’t Believe in The Stereotypes
What are some of the most common stereotypes about staying alone that we often hear?
I guess, you’re already having a list of them in your mind.
“You will become anti-social if you normalize staying alone ” , ” Having the habit of staying alone will never help you to succeed. So, just go out and socialize. ” Only the fools like staying alone”
These are only a few of those stereotypes that makes many people away from exploring the beauty of solitude. However, if you don’t really believe in these stereotypes at all, then it might be a reason that has made you a loner.
You’re an Introvert
We all know what an introvert actually is. Someone who prefers solitude and their own companionship the most. Someone who feels the more relieved when they’re with themselves.
Many people think that you’re an introvert means you chose to be one. Which is not really 100% correct. Since many studies have shown that there is actually some short of differences between the brains of an extrovert and an introvert.
According to an article on CNBC written by a professional Neuroscientist, “Introverts’ brains actually work differently, and have thicker gray matter compared to extroverts. In people who are strongly extroverted, gray matter was consistently thinner. Introverts also showed more activity in the frontal lobes, where analysis and rational thought take place”
So being an introvert is definitely one of the most possible reasons that makes you prefer staying alone.
You Need Help
When there’s a particular thing going on in your life, there could be both positive and negative reasons.
Apart from all those very positive and normal reasons, there could be some negative reasons too that makes you staying alone. One of those reasons could be that you actually need help.
Maybe you’re going through a bad chapter of your life. Or, maybe you’re just not feeling mentally great. Now, not everyone is comfortable sharing their problems with other people. Thinking that there’s no one to emphasize or to understand might also be a notable reason behind someone likes to stay alone.
You Have Some Bad Memories
Having bad memories is never a so new thing. Anyone could have bad memories regarding public situations. Even for some people, some of the bad memories can be the extreme ones like being laughed at in a massive public place. To be called on bad names or simply to become bullied.
We all talk about letting go our bad memories and bad past. But, not all the bad memories can be let go. Some memories just don’t go away no matter how much we want to get rid of them.
They just stuck in the mind making the person feel stupid or embarrassed over an over again. So, having some of those bad memories might also be a reason behind they like to stay alone.
You’re Suffering from Extreme Self-critique
Knowing about our own mistakes, admitting them and trying to improve is considered as something really great. It is even really great itself. Without self-criticism and knowing about your own mistakes, it’s impossible to grow.
However, there’s actually a difference between having little self-criticisms and having extreme self – critique.
Having self-critique means you examine yourself intensely and harshly more than you ever should. To make it more clear, you will find many people who apologize very often even sometimes when it’s not really their mistake or punish themselves as well.
At first, all these things might seem as an act of politeness. Some also like to call it people pleasing. But, it also might be a sign that person is suffering from extreme self – critique.
So, how it’s related to being a loner? Well, chances are, every time you want to go out and socialize, there’s a voice in your head telling you that you’re a stupid and no one would talk to you. Which makes you feel bad and consequently you don’t feel like going out anymore and prefer staying with yourself.
You Believe in Stereotypes
We had a point like this earlier in this article while talking about the positive reasons of staying alone. You might think that I mistakenly repeated this point again. But, I didn’t.
There could both positive and negative types of stereotypes about both topics. Not only about staying alone, but there are also stereotypes about going out too.
As you’ll find many people saying nowadays things like , “The world is just so toxic” , Everyone is bad out there”, “There’s no use of going out when you’re feeling the best with yourself”
Going out is definitely necessary. We humans are a sociable creature. Not everyone in the world is toxic or bad. The fact is, one must need to have a balance between the ‘alone time’ and the time for socializing.
But, believing in these negative stereotypes too much might be also one of those few reasons that makes you like being alone.
You Don’t Have the Right People Around
In this world, while everyone is busy with their own thoughts and opinions, it’s just too much hard to find the right people. You can easily find a community and can become a part of that. However, finding a community with the right people is just way too hard.
Finding people who can emphasize you, feel you ain’t an easy thing. So, not having the right people around might also be a thing that inspires you to stay alone.
You’ve Low Energy
Having low energy isn’t just your fault. We all used to have a low energy. Or, at least a limited amount of energy to spend every day.
The difference is we all used to have different situations when either way that energy goes up or just goes down. For instance, spending time with your loved ones or doing something you love to do can double your energy. Whereas hanging out with the wrong people or forcefully doing something going against your mind can eventually bring it down.
Some people feel more energetic when they’re with others. While some other find it so draining and actually feel much at ease when they’re alone. So, being one of those people might also be the reason behind you love staying alone.
Other’s Emotions Affect You Negatively
There are several studies on how other’s emotions can affect us both positively and negatively. According to Psychology Today, ” The mimicry of a frown or a smile or other kinds of emotional expression trigger reactions in our brains that cause us to interpret those expressions as our own feelings. Simply put, as a species, we are innately vulnerable to “catching” other people’s emotions “
Most of us used to have different emotional patterns. Some people don’t really care about what’s going on other’s lives. Whereas some others are really empathetic. People like this might often feel a bit burdened and can become influenced by other’s negative emotions.
However, those people who are aware of this thing happening to them might easily choose being a loner instead of going out and letting this thing to happen with them again.
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Final thoughts :
At the end, I hope it’s completely clear to you that there’s never anything wrong about staying alone. There could be both positive and negative reasons behind that. It’s necessary that you’re accepting both of them to be at a clearer state of mind.
Even though you can always change your habits. However some habits like that one which is being introverted has nothing to do with you, it’s all about your brain. So, even if you’ll want to change, it will definitely take some times.
Even some reasons not really needs to changed. The fact is staying alone can as well sometimes can bring really amazing things in life. But extreme obsession with something is never something to be appreciated.
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