Have you ever felt like, you’re just an absolute loser or your existence simply doesn’t mean anything to the world? Maybe you’ve just thought of being disappeared sometimes…
Just like the waves of our life, there used to be waves in our minds too. It’s not possible to feel confident, or good about yourself all the time. Even the most optimistic and self-assured person feels gloomy time to time. Even though, some may not be willing to show it, but it happens to all.
The quantity and frequency of it just varies from people to people. Some might experience it just once in a while. Even the feeling mightn’t last so long as well. But, there are also people who experience it frequently and for much longer than usual. Kind of in a draining way.
Even some people normalize living with it anyways. But it still hurts. Because the most times you spend is with yourself. So what you think about yourself matters the most.
In this article, we’ve given a step by step method to help you to stop feeling like a failure. So don’t just skim and pay attention for a better read.
Before you take actions to reduce any negative feelings going on within you, you first need to goodly understand what you truly feel inside and what is really causing it and these types of things. Knowing about your feelings in depth will help you to get over it in a much better and faster way. So sit calmly and identify these 3 things first..
1. Identify that who is causing the feeling
When you’re feeling down about something, it might be often a reaction to other people’s perceptions about you. Ask yourself that is there anyone or maybe a group of people who are making you feel in this way by any means with their actions or words or behaviors. Don’t be afraid to go in depth. Even your closest people can cause this to you intentionally or unintentionally sometimes.
However, it works in both ways. Sometimes the main culprit can become you too. Remember, that sometimes we can end up being our biggest critique. Therefore, when you give blame on others, ask yourself that does this blame can come on you too?
2. Identify the reasons
What’s really causing that feeling to you? Do you feel it really for no reason or there are some actual feelings that are causing it to you?
Is it because you feel bad about your skin? or your grades? or you social skills? what’s about your career? Or maybe the uncertainty of the future? or maybe about your family members?
I know many people who act strong in front of other people disregard of what they truly feel inside. But, when you’re with yourself, it’s not time to appear as strong, it’s time to be honest. Be gentle and figure out the reasons on by one.
3. Identify how long and how have you been living with it
Is it just a feeling that comes and goes and doesn’t really bother that much or something that you had been living with forever?
How often do you experience it? Is it in your control? Does it make you feel drained, anxious or self-suffocated? If you had been living with it for years then how have you been surviving?
Do you ever try to make yourself feel good ? or you just drain yourself even more by criticizing yourself? Maybe you just try to avoid it by telling yourself that this emotion is useless? Or, maybe you just do anything like escaping the situation?
Identifying these things are really important as they can have a great impact on the later process too.
The next step is to change. You don’t feel good in the situation you’re being in right now, is the biggest sign that you need changes. Big or small, but changes are crucial. Having the courage to change is the first step of being happy.
1. Change the Environment
It’s quite impossible to outgrow at the same place that once made you feel defeated. However, changing the environment doesn’t always mean moving to a new country or changing the city. It can simply make a huge difference if you take time to change the way your room looks.
Decorate your closest environment according to your own needs. Change the color for example. Does the room look too much crowded with all the furniture and stuffs like you can’t breathe? Make some space then.
Is there anything in your room that makes you feel insecure about yourself? Maybe that photo of your favorite celebrity makes you hate your skin.. if so, there is nothing wrong with removing that photo. Replace it with something inspiring. It doesn’t represent disloyalty as a fan. It’s just being loyal to your mental well-being.
2. Change the Aspects
Do you ever feel like everything around you is clumsy… boring, not so interesting or simply unattractive? Or maybe you just think that everyone in the world is bad. Well, in this case, it’s time to change your aspects.
According to the Inc Magazine, your mood literally changes based on how you see the world. Ever found that the most insecure people are often the biggest bullies? It’s all because of the mindsets.
The world isn’t dull, but the world you’ve shaped around you might be. So, come out and experience some other colors and shades of your life. Also some people think that nobody really likes them.
The fact is, most people don’t care and others don’t have time to tell you that they love you. Because, they’re also in a hurry fighting for their own life. Just know that you’re loved and your existence do matter. A lot!!
3. Change the habits
Sometimes your habits can impact a lot the way you think or you feel. So, if you’re living on some unhealthy habits lately, it’s time to change.
Don’t think that if they’re connected to your mood or how they can help you to stop feeling like a loser. It just happens. Habits are a vicious thing. If you had been practicing any of those habits, it might have already become a part of your life.
So, you might find a lot of excuses to stop leaving the habits. But.. see.. The pain of changing the forever-practicing habits will automatically go away, but the pain of feeling like a failure won’t.
As you’ve identified and mad changes, it’s time to do some eliminations.
1. Remove People
Don’t ever be a people pleaser. Acknowledge your worth. Not everyone in the world deserves to be in your life.
I’m not telling you to go out and cut out the relations with every single person you know. But, you really have to learn how to cut people out of your life when necessary. Even though, you’ll never find the perfect one, but some people have the darkness within them the most.
Don’t be afraid that you’ll be alone. Trust the fate. There are more amazing people are being on their way to come to your life. If you’ll keep living with those people who make you feel useless, you’ll never be able to welcome the good ones.
2. Remove the stereotypes
Have you ever found people telling you that,
“You can’t do well” “It’s the end of your life” “You’ll forever be a failure” “Those who once fail in this can never succeed” “There’s no value to your dreams” or “You’ll forever be a disappointment to everyone”?
In your life, you’ll find many stereotypes and ideas passing by. You’ll find people who act like goddess and make their words sound like the goddamn truth so that they can be frightening enough and their words can be felt more as a truth.
But.. Hey! I’m here to tell you the truth.
Life is so short to care about the stereotypes and about their forever true assumptions about the future. It’s your life. You’re in the control and no one else is.
3. Remove the distractions
Self-hate might also be the result of how you’re never able to focus on yourself. Or maybe you just cannot give a plenty of attention to the things you love.
We have lots of things around us to take our attention away. We might think that the simple focus and attention doesn’t mean anything. But, it really means a lot.
Unless you focus, you’ll only feel the problems but will never find a way to get out of this. However, because of this, you’ll need a distraction free life. And it’s not just always the social media. You can also feel distructed by some of your friends or the draining part time job you do that leaves no energy for you at the end of the day.
Whatever the distraction is, feel free to remove it and leave it behind. When you’re feeling mentally down, it’s time to focus on yourself. So, give the most of your attention to your mental well being and make yourself your first priority.
#Become Kinder to Yourself
We’re our biggest critique indeed. We can sometimes make ourselves feel in the worst ways possible. If you had been experiencing low self esteem and a bit of self hate, it sometimes can also become a reaction towards the roughness you had been showing towards yourself lately.
So do these simple things and show some generosities on yourself for a while.
1. Don’t Compare Yourself With Others
Before you try to judge yourself, just know that you’re just yourself and no one in the world is like you.
Obviously, there are people better or worse than you but not like you. So, clearly there is no purpose of wasting time by comparing yourself with others. This is extremely illogical.
Don’t be hard on yourself in an illogical way!! That’s totally harsh.
2. Take a Break
Take a break from your overwhelming annoying schedules. Obviously making plans and being purposeful is a part of life. But, life isn’t all about scheduling.
When you cannot keep up with the stress and daily competition you have, as well as the fear of missing out, it’s normal to suddenly start feeling like a loser.
So get out of your stressing schedule. Go one a trip, experience new things, live a careless life for some days. Discover some parts of the life that you’ve never known about. And soon you’ll realize that the world isn’t just all about competitions.
Also you’ll realize that there’s a meaning to your life. Because if you wouldn’t be alive, you would never be able to experience the beautiful moments.
3. Check on Yourself
Have you been eating good lately? Have you been sleeping well? What’s about doing some skincare? What was the last time when you smiled? What was the last time you laughed at your fullest? Are you really okay from within?
These questions are so important to be asked. But who will really ask you those questions? Who has that much time for it? Who will make a time to ask you these? Well, you will and you’ll have to.
It’s your responsibility to check on yourself. Go in front of the mirror, look at yourself, look at your eyes in the mirror and ask these questions. I can tell being careful and cautious about yourself will solve a lot of your problems.
4. Give yourself Permission to Fail
‘Failure is a part of life’ – we all know that. But still many people suffer from the fear of failures. Some also become depressed as well. According to Cleveland Clinic , “Fear of failure can lead to a broad range of emotional and psychological problems, including shame, depression, anxiety, panic attacks or low self-esteem “
So, it’s clear that failures in life hold such a huge power. But, you don’t want yourself to feel depressed, do you? So, accept your failures and stop blaming yourselves for every single them. You’re definitely the responsible one for what happens in your life.
But always expecting yourself to succeed is one of the biggest tortures you can ever do to yourself.
5. Be Patient With Yourself
Every greater thing in the world takes time. Don’t just rush the process. Take time. Go easy on yourself.
Break your tasks into smaller goals and do some tiny celebrations as you’ve achieved some of them. There’s also a version of you inside. You cannot just pressure it to get the things done.
As at the end, the rudeness and pressure comes to you. So, being patient with yourself will make the process better.
6. Have Faith In Yourself
Self doubt will do nothing good without just bringing some damages. Have some faith in yourself.
You’ll eventually make it.
#Some Other Things You Can Do
1. Ditch the Victim Personality
Only just we’ve talked about being kinder to yourself, but now it’s time to move to the harsher one.
Though no one likes to hear it, but it’s true that some people become sad on purpose. They often use their sadness to gain sympathy, or simply to defend themselves to show the world that they are a by-born loser. So, they can’t succeed at all and that means they don’t have to invest any efforts too.
It’s that self sabotaging and toxic trait that many people suffer from. So, when you’re constantly trying to make yourself feel better, make sure that you’re also taking time to ditch the victim personality you might have.
2. Contribute to the World
Whenever you feel like, your existence doesn’t matter, go out and do things to make that matter.
Do volunteering, inspire someone. We’re all about consuming nowadays. So create something meaningful and make your existence important to the world.
3. Talk to someone who makes you Feel Better
No one will ever be able to help you more than those who you think understand you the most.
So, talk to them. Reach out for help. Only a few have this magical power to understand what’s going on within you just by seeing your face. So, if you don’t ever open up, no one will probably be able to get you and help you.
Also don’t get disappointed if some people don’t understand you. No can actually feel the pain entirely if they’ve never faced it themselves. But, there will always be someone to get you in your hardest times when no one does. and finally…..
4. Talk to an Expert
Doesn’t matter whatever you do or how many blog posts like this you read or how many inspiring videos you watch on Youtube, but they will never be equal to the benefits you’ll get by talking to an expert in this field.
When you had been suffering from low self esteem and had been feeling like a loser, it might also be a sign of depression. So you must treat it carefully before it’s too late.
Some affirmations to help you keep going >
“It is interesting how often we can’t see all the ways in which we are being strong.”-—Lena Dunham
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”-—Mark Twain
“Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you. Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion. Set your life on fire.”-—Rumi
“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.”-—Abraham Lincoln
At the end, remember that it’s your life and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. We definitely have to fight to survive in the world.
But we haven’t come here just for fighting, we’ve also come here for living, loving and enjoying the life.
That’s all for today’s article. Don’t forget to leave a comment about your thoughts regarding this post.
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