become your best friend
Self love

How To Be Your Own Best Friend

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We meet lots of people in different spheres and stages of our life. Not all of them stay permanently. They come and go. We lose touch with many of them eventually because of different situations in our life. And not all of those lost touches bother us anyway.

However, best friends are something else. They’re more than just our friends, sometimes closer than our family. They’re someone that we love more than us and want to be in touch with them forever.

However, have you ever thought of being your own best friend? Self -love is okay, but what’s about being your biggest friend that you ever know?

We mostly try to find our happiness within other people. But, what if now we try to find it within ourselves?

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In this article, we’ve talked about why it’s important to become your best friend, 16 effective ways to become your best friend. And finally what’s the actually difference between being your best friend and being self-obsessed.

So, kindly read along and enjoy!

Why You Should Be Your Best Friend

Can you remember right now, that who was your first best friend? If you can, do you still have contacts with them as you used to have?

If the answer is still ‘yes’, then I must say that you’re truly privileged to have such a best friend. But, for the maximum amount of people, the answer is ‘no’.

You can now easily think, I’m lying. But you haven’t really asked everyone these questions, did you? Nor did I. But, I’ve scientific proofs. According to Study Finds , they had directed a survey according to which, only 17 percent people claimed that they have had the same best friend for a long time, up to 30 years. But, other 83% people claimed that they had unfortunately lost touch with their best friends.

Which makes it clear again that no one is permanent. It’s possible that someone wakes up on a day and doesn’t have the same feelings about you. Maybe they just don’t feel the connection that much strongly or not at all. No matter, how much efforts you invest, at the end of the day, it’s their decisions who they would like to have in their life which you’ve absolutely no control over.

While having this phenomenon of losing your best friend, it’s normal to feel alone, sad and disappointed even sometimes depressed. Because, which hurts the most is when you get to know anyone isn’t having the same affections for you as you’ve for them.

But, you definitely don’t want to be depressed, don’t you? Nor you want to feel alone. So it’s the best to have someone who’s permanent. And the only who is always by your side while you face any kinds of emotions, sadness, happiness, success, falls in your life is you.

It’s only who’s the permanent. No one else. Trust me, no one else and nothing in the world is permanent but you.

If you become your best friend, you don’t have to seek support or inspirations from anywhere else when you can already get them from within.

16 Ways To Become Your Best Friend

As you’ve understood the importance of being your best friend, it’s time to be. The process is just as simple as being the best friend of someone else. But, what’s required here extra is the connection that you’ve to feel if you don’t already.

Here are 16 ways to make the bond between you and yourself much stronger.

1. Think There’s A Separate Person Inside

Do you believe in 2 minds in one body? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. When you look into the mirror, what do you see is just not a reflection of yourself, it’s a different you.

You may have also heard about the Lower Human Mind and Higher God Mind. According to many science researches, a person generally has these two minds. While the Lower Human Mind plays games and tricks with the Higher God Mind, The Higher God Mind is connected directly to God. It’s kind of a spiritual opening that one person has once they start feeling these two minds.

However, you don’t have to think about all these complications. Just, acknowledge that there’s a different you within you. Feel it’s existence, give it a name. It won’t happen within one day, but it’s the first step to start feeling connected with yourself.

2. Show Yourself Acts of Love

There are different acts of love that you can show to yourself.

One of them is practicing words of affirmations. Also protecting yourself, trusting your guts, staying around the supportive community are the things you can do as an act of love towards yourself.

Also, while you’re sad or crying, hug yourself. It might seem like a dumb thing at first. But, it’s scientifically proven to give yourself the feel as if you’re hugging yourself. If you want to know more about building a better relation with yourself, check out this article on how to build a better relation with yourself

Also Read : 15 Simple Ways To Fall In Love With Life Again

3. Let Yourself Heal

A best friend would always help her partner to heal. I know many people who let themselves suffer for years silently and never take steps. Which is one of the most hideous things you can do to yourself.

Sadness is almost like a dark blanket protecting you from the challenges in the world by working as an excuse or a way to stop yourself from doing them and hinders you from experiencing the beauties of the world . Many people who get accustomed to being sad, feel good when they can relate to other miserable people around them, or hear their stories.

But, you just don’t want to relate to the miseries all the time, do you? Even if you want, the person within you doesn’t. So, please let her live properly.

There was a time when there were not so many therapies or options or advantages like today. Back then not many people knew about these things. But, being a person of this generation, you’re so much blessed. Make the right use of these blessings and heal yourself.

4. Allow Yourself To Outgrow

One of the other things you can do as a part of being your best friend is to allow yourself to outgrow.

You see, getting to love yourself is already one kind of growth. And growth CANNOT happen in the place where you lost it. While growing, it may require you leaving some of the toxic friends or family members whom you really love. Or, maybe changing the job that puts money on your table but which you’ve no love for.

While, you’re trying to be your best friend, it might require you spending more time with yourself rather than spending it with the friends who bring nothing to your life. The process of growth isn’t always lovely and inspiring. It can be intimidating and risky as well. But, fear is after all a choice. And it’s your responsibility to allow yourself to outgrow.

5. Go On Solo Dates

Why managing dates with other people when you can go on a date with yourself?

Going on Solo Dates doesn’t only give you a plenty of time to spend time with yourself and observe yourself, but it also gives you the chance of taking a break from the chaotic world.

The life of a normal adult is supposed to full of schedules. That’s why, many people don’t even mind saving time for themselves. They only spend the times they get after finishing all their works. However, ever noticed, how someone puts of their tasks when it’s time to go on an exciting date?

That’s absolutely what you’re supposed to do. Make it exciting. Have a day on your calendar or a few couple of hours every week just for yourself. Don’t just go to the boring restaurants. That’s all chaos again. Instead, do something adventurous, go on a hike, go to a quiet place if that’s what you like. Spend money on yourself.

Don’t think that it’s selfish to do it all for yourself. You’re not doing it for yourself. You’re doing it for your best friend.

Also Read : 10 Simple Ways To Love Yourself More

6. Appreciate Yourself

It’s okay to criticize yourself. After all, no one is supposed to detect your mistakes by you. Handle Yourself, give yourself constructive criticisms like a caring best friend would do.

But, while you slander yourself, don’t forget that criticism isn’t all a best friend would do. That’s not how you connect with someone for life. A life-long friendship doesn’t only need guidance and all those sorts of stuffs. It also needs affection and appreciation.

Appreciate yourself for every of your achievements. Don’t look for a big reason to do so. You wouldn’t obviously look for just a big reason to criticize yourself. Appreciate yourself for how far you’ve come. Appreciate yourself for having courage to choose yourself as the biggest friend.

7. Buy Yourself Gifts

Buying Yourself Gifts doesn’t mean spending money carelessly on Online Shopping or Buying whatever you want.

Ever noticed? that as the children grow up, the parents don’t necessarily give them every single thing they want even when they’re capable of. Because, they think, if the children would get everything they want, they’ll never understand the value of those things.

And that’s what you’ve to focus on here. Make the gifts valuable. Buy them with your own money. Set different goals and make the prizes clear and as you achieve those milestones, it’s time to do the favors to yourself.

Also spend specifically. For instance, when you’ve a lot of money in your hand, don’t spend themselves carelessly buying whatever you see or want at that moment. Instead, buy your dream dress, or your dream house. It’s like you earned them. It’s like you’re buying a valuable gift for your most valuable best friend.

8. Know Your Worth

Suppose Your Best Friend is being poorly treated somewhere, what would you suggest her to do? Or, maybe she isn’t doing the things she could do or isn’t discovering your full potential, what would be your conversation with her?

Wouldn’t you advice them or push them to change or let them as they’re right now?

Acknowledging the answers of the questions are really important as you’re going to apply them in your own life. Know Your Worth. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.

You might have to get selfish for this, but it’s okay to be selfish here.

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9. Stand Up For Yourself

Stand up for yourself, buddy! Speak up when it’s necessary.

You’re not supposed to hurt yourself just to protect other people’s emotions or ego. Even their emotions or motives ( whatever you say) is extremely toxic. Otherwise, they would never put you in these situations.

Also people judge others in the same way they judge themselves. They’re either insecure or over-confident from inside. Why disappointing yourself just to protect their these useless, toxic emotions.

That’s never how you become your best friend. DON’T DO THAT ! It’s impossible to always ignore all of that and act like a calm person. Open your mouth when it’s necessary. Take actions, don’t be offensive, but be logical. Show them their place.

10. Love Yourself Selflessly but Don’t Spoil Yourself

We say that, we can love ourselves unconditionally, but do we really? Didn’t you ever stop talking to yourself or didn’t you ever talk rudely to yourself when you didn’t get something you wanted?

Didn’t you choose to ruin your health by having sleepless nights and by pressuring yourself more and more when it all could be put together just if you became a bit gentle with yourself?

This isn’t something we call unconditional love. However, loving yourself unconditionally doesn’t mean letting yourself to do whatever you wish.

That’s a different type of destruction you can do to yourself. The goal isn’t to ruin yourself or destroy yourself. The Goal is to build yourself.

11. Keep the Promises You Make To Yourself

Wouldn’t you cut off someone from your life if they kept breaking their promises over and over again? Even if you couldn’t cut them off, you would just maintain the distance as much as possible.

Now, look at your life. I know many of you keep breaking the promises you make to yourself and some of you never bother keeping them at all. You made some promises, and then… you’re done after some minutes. No commitments, no responsibility. Some of you wouldn’t remember them anymore.

Would you really be best friend with someone like this? If you wouldn’t, change this.

Also Read : 20 Promises that You Should Make To Yourself

12. Have Self Acceptance

If you’ll constantly keep judging someone, you can be damn sure that there could be anything within you two, but never any close bonds. Even if nothing will be there, still the scars you gave to their minds will keep hurting.

And that’s what many of you do to yourselves. You keep giving yourself bruises, hurt yourself, body shame yourself and overall waste a lot of times crying over things you cannot change.

You see, if you don’t like something about you, you try to change it. You don’t like the way you’re living, you change it. You don’t like your overweight, you change it. But, some things like our pasts, the way our face was made or you know, it’s colors or not having a plenty of supportive friends, things like this cannot be changed.

Yes, you can change your perspectives towards or can move to a new environment if this doesn’t feel good to you, but that’s all you can do.

Just tell me, why many of you spend so many times crying over things you cannot control? Is there any good use of it? The best you can do is to accept yourself. Accept yourself in the way you’re.

20 ways to become your biggest friend
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13. Put Yourself First

You’ll find many people who will try to manipulate you in putting themselves first. They’ll emotionally blackmail you, will try to undermine you emotionally or in other ways, or simply would want to gain your sympathy.

It can be anyone starting from your siblings to your friends. Because, after all, who doesn’t want to be put first?

You may say that you don’t want to be put first. You might be thinking it’s a selfless, kind, and very very pure thing. But, it’s NOT. It’s just an act of violation that you show to yourself.

So, don’t be like this. Put Yourself First. Be Selfish, be you know, whatever they call you. You’re doing it all for your best friend – you. So, no need to feel guilty here at all.

Also Read : Self Love Isn’t Selfish At All

14. Take Care of Yourself

Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and in all the other ways.

Ask for help, let yourself achieve all the milestones she ever dreamed of. As I said, there are 2 minds within one body. You may not be willing to take care of yourself, be disciplined, to have a clean space or a glowing look or a radiating confidence. It’s okay, you’re lazy. You don’t deserve a good life.

But, the person within you, the little kid that you promised that you would give the world to her does. So, at least work for her. Do paralyze yourself or your potentials. No one would ever do such betrayals with someone they consider or want to consider as a best friend.

15. Stay in Touch with Yourself

What was the last time you talked to yourself? Or reflected on how your life was going?

This world is mostly about socialization. We try to stay in touch with anyone wee meet in our workplace or on social media. But, while trying to keep touch with them, we lose touch with ourselves.

Being socially active and connecting with others will keep you happy throughout the day, but being disconnected to yourself will eventually push you through pains. Because, here you’re ignoring your biggest friend.

So what you can do to get over this? Well, do meditations, do journaling or simply jot down the things that come to your mind. Go to a non-chaotic place. Ask yourself different questions about your situation, life, the purpose of your life. This is how, you’ll start loving your company and eventually will become your best friend.

16. Trust Yourself

Not all the feelings are true Though, But, Not all them are false.

Sometimes, you should really trust your guts. Also while fallen in a difficult situation believe in yourself. We also have a complete post on how to believe in yourself when life gets tough. You can read it too if you struggle with having faith in yourself in your hard times.

Moreover, don’t do things that will make you lose trust in yourself. For any kinds of bonds, trust is the most important thing.

Also Read : 10 Excellent Tips To Believe In Yourself When Life Gets Tough

Being Your Best Friend VS Self Obsession

I know while we’re talking about being your own best friend, many people would easily confuse it with self obsession.

Even many people would tell you to ignore this term and may laugh at you saying it don’t exist anyways, or you’ve gone crazy. But, you already know it does.

Even there are huge differences between the two terms. First of all, being you own best friend is a part of self love. When you learn to love yourself fully, you can also love others. It’s also like protecting yourself in your hard times. While you’re trying to be your best friend, it doesn’t require you to stop socializing or meeting with people by any means. Even it doesn’t also inspire you to be completely harmful or selfish.

You only get to be selfish while you’re putting yourself first and prioritizing yourself. Whereas, Self-obsession makes you feel that the world is all about you. It makes you less empathetic to others and more of an harmful person to most people.

Moreover, self-obsession is a bad habit that doesn’t take you too long to grow. But, Being your own best friend takes time and practice, just like building friendships does. 

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Final Thoughts :

I hope after reading this article, you’ve got a clear idea about how to be your best friend.

See, many people talk about finding a best friend or finding a true friend, but not many people talk about being your own best friend even though it’s one of the most necessary terms. You may find several articles about finding the true friend or about the qualities of a best friend, but you won’t necessarily find many articles like this.

So, what we suggest is that, you use this article as an effective guide to be your own best friend and become much closer to yourself.

Remember this quote : –

“I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.” – Louis L’Amour

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That’s all for today’s article. Don’t forget to leave a comment about your thoughts regarding this post.

Question for you: Is there anything new that you would like to share regarding this topic ? If yes, then what are they?

Let me know the answer in the comment below!

Finally, if you liked this article, then don’t forget to share it with others who can find it useful or interesting too. Your one share will make my day!

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  1. These are great tips on how to be our own best friend. I like the idea to go on solo dates while also knowing our self worth.

  2. These are very, very important tips to practice. If you are not your own best friend, then you probably don’t have any friends.

  3. I wish you could hear me clapping for this one because it’s brilliant. It’s great to have external friends but we all need to learn to love ourselves and listen to what we have to say!

  4. I love this! I do talk to my first best friend, we’ve known each other since we were days old since our moms were best friends, but not as much as we used to talk. But distance has affected that as well as being in different places in our lives. But we do still talk now and then. The one person who will always be there, though, is yourself!

  5. Beth says:

    Yes, we should be our own best friend. By being kind and accepting to ourselves we can learn to be our own bestfriend.

  6. I am already doing many of these, but one that I most recently added is going on solo dates/solo travel. It isn’t something I would have considered in the past, but I do it now. The best thing about solo dates is, you have no one to answer to but yourself. You do things on your schedule.

  7. Your insights on self-love and self-care are truly inspiring. I learnt it late so I get it. You’ve laid out practical steps that anyone can follow to strengthen their relationship with themselves. Keep spreading positivity and self-awareness! 🌟🤗

  8. These are important reminders. I believe that self love necessary to be able to give love to others!

  9. Yes and yes to knowing your self-worth as well as standing up for yourself! Those two will definitely take you far in life!

  10. Cindy says:

    Great tips for being your own best friend. I agree it’s very important to keep the promises you make to yourself.

  11. Nikki Wayne says:

    I absolutely agree with this, we should be our own best friend. The only one who will never betray you is yourself.

  12. Everyone needs to practice these things and develop a better version of their own. I will work on some as I already doing some of them.

  13. I think as a mom, it can be easy to get lost in who you are and self care, and so many things that are part of taking care of yourself. These are all good points.

  14. Melanie E says:

    We all need to focus on self-care. It can really make a big difference in how we feel about ourselves.

  15. Jennifer Prince says:

    This is such a good perspective. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, but we need to work to change that around.

  16. I am nearing my senior years and yes, I am my own best friend. I dont need to seek approval from others, but as long as I am happy about it, I will do it (of course, so long as I dont step on other people’s shoes)

  17. Sangeetha says:

    This is a perspective shift that could bring so much positivity and self-empowerment into our lives. Building a strong connection with oneself is truly essential. Looking forward to exploring this concept further and learning how to cultivate that self-bond. 🌟💖🤗

  18. This is such a beautiful read and yes, it is important that we become our own best friend. It’s about time that we learn self-love and kindness.

    I love the idea of solo dates. In fact, I do it regularly and it just helped me appreciate myself more.

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